Funniest RT you heard

Aviation Humour....

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FLYbyWIT
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Funniest RT you heard

Post by FLYbyWIT » Wed Jun 29, 2005 9:42 pm

Just giving this a try, may be a flop but rack your brains for actual personal experiences. I just remebered this one happened about a year ago to me.

I was flying down the ILS into xxxx and all a sudden a C-150 came on the radio giving the usual details, and then without being requested, He reported "G-XXXX reducing speed from 090kts as he said zero nine zero knots to 085kts zero eight five knots" in the circuit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Tower and myself and company nearly crashed as we laughed so much, as it was said with such authority and importance you would have though it was a 747 jock. Anyways after I gathered myself I reported I was slowing from 130kts to 129kts on the approach. :wink:


Gotta love this one too,I heard da story. G-XXXX reporting overhead for downwind to runway whatever, ATC reply: Are you sure mate cos we dont see ya- O hang on we have a phone call.........G-XXXX you are overhead birmingham airport, BHX twr want your soul on 123.45-good luck.

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Post by historical-avi-irl.i8.com » Fri Jul 01, 2005 11:37 pm

No much can top that- but try this one:

For The Sake Of ATC at this airport, I won't mention any names, they know who they are, and people who know me, know who they are.

It all started off, by taxi-ing down the taxiway (as you do), then, while holding short on Runway 25, me and my instructor heard a conversation, between a pilot flying over Wexford! They we're talking about a certain rugby team, in his aircraft, on private charter. The conversation went on for five minutes, with atleast 10 aircraft on curcuit to land, and only 2 controlers on duty (Including the one having a chat, with the pilot, with a mild interferance from the other controler). Then eventually, my instructor radio's thru, and asks if EI-XXX can taxi into position. The ATController answers promply, sorry I forgot about you, left again, said goodbye to his friend, and cleared us for takeoff!

Now that Is Bad!!!- I think you've probably guessed the field anyway!

Cheers, :?

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Post by Rallye EIBFP » Mon Jul 04, 2005 2:46 pm

Busy day in EISN, local radar (124.70) about ten aircraft all pressed PTT at the same time- then a controller says "Stations calling Shannon crossed say again!" So three aircraft cross. "Stations crossed again, listen out and speak one at a time!" In a "Because I said so" voice!

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Post by Dutch Roll » Thu Jul 14, 2005 4:24 pm

i heard an aircraft coming into cork,RE made initial contact,the usual,cork approach arann xxx passing FL 144 descending FL 100 direct Crk,ATR 72 with info Hotel,the controller then recognised you mans voice and the controller was calling the aircraft by the name of the pilot whom he obviously knew,this is the way it went exactly "paddy descend to FL60 oh how did ye get on last nite???" and the pilot is tellin em bout a good auld nite out at some bash!!
Last edited by Dutch Roll on Fri Jul 15, 2005 12:20 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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More of em!

Post by Lambada Crazy » Thu Jul 14, 2005 11:09 pm

One day at Waterford i was up at the club and a guy taxying on the ground transmits "Im Changing fuel tanks now", I thought this was hilarious.

Another time two guys were flying over to kemble airshow and took off in their Rallye from XXXX, Usually there are no atc at this airport so he didnt expect anything. He took off once at the boundary he changed to shannon freq 127.5 and made his call etc. He got no reply. So he didnt take any notice of it because shannon sometimes cant reply until the repeaters are activated. So he flew along any way talking and talking about how nice it was to get a bit of flying every now and then, and how the few drinks went the night before. Then they had an argument about navigation. But what the didnt know was thet the wires on the PTT button had short Circuted and was transmitting everything. So time went on and they they went on to London Center, So weather was starting to deteriate and they thought they would make a trip into haverfordwest and have a cup of tea. When they landed they were told that they had blocked up two of UK & Irelands Busiest Frequencys! What a sickner!!
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Post by -Al- » Fri Jul 15, 2005 12:36 pm

Ya heard something silimar.

Aer Corp cessna was down in sligo doing training as usual, done a few circuits and headed off around somewhere around the area, then he comes back on and is talking to his student or instructor who ever it was, kept this up for 10 mintes when he finally realised the button jammed or he was holding it in, apoligised to sligo ATC. 2 minutes later after reporting to ATC starts up the conversation again.

I think they talked about a snickers bar for a while. :lol:
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Post by ceatach » Mon Jul 18, 2005 11:37 am

I heard there was a student & instructor out practicing some slow flying and stalls. The student, unwittingly, had his finger on the button on the yoke.

The instructor says: Now what do you expect to happen as we keep the nose high like this without power...

The student says: W'ell get a horn in the cockpit....

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Post by Dutch Roll » Wed Aug 24, 2005 10:49 am

someone flying in cork the other day,the ATC told him watch out for the Airbus correction Boeing 737 on finals and yer man in the plane replied wer looking out for the Airbus 737.!!! doh!
115 VAC @400Hz

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Post by mark » Wed Aug 24, 2005 11:06 am

There was a great one in Weston about two weeks ago.......


Robinson R22 inbound from Maynooth with a very nervous student flying: "Eh Weston eh Echo India XXX eh eh overhead the airport eh can I have my QNH please"

EIWT TWR "Okay EI-XXX, well which do you want Weston QNH or your own one?!"

R22 "Eh say again"

EIWT TWR (Said very slowly!) "Do you want your own QNH or Weston's QNH!! "

R22 "Eh eh my own one please"

EIWT TWR "Okay EI-XXX well I cant help you with that but Weston's QNH is 10XX!"

I don't think the pilot got it at all but I'd say the instructor beside him had a good laugh!

Regards,
Mark

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Post by Dutch Roll » Wed Aug 24, 2005 11:51 am

all those eh's make that sound very familiar to a chopper student i know,altho hes not nervous!!
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Post by ei6265 » Wed Aug 24, 2005 12:28 pm

The night that Dublin had that really bad weather, I was listening into the scanner. Most of the planes were diverting, but alot were just holding for the weather to clear. So then a German pilot, with a big heavy german accent came on;

"Confirm the gale warning is from now until midnight?"
ATC: "Affirm sir"
"Wonderful! I love flying"

Was kindof funny at the time, I happened to be recording it on the PC as well :)

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Post by -Al- » Wed Aug 24, 2005 12:36 pm

mark wrote:There was a great one in Weston about two weeks ago.......


Robinson R22 inbound from Maynooth with a very nervous student flying: "Eh Weston eh Echo India XXX eh eh overhead the airport eh can I have my QNH please"

EIWT TWR "Okay EI-XXX, well which do you want Weston QNH or your own one?!"

R22 "Eh say again"

EIWT TWR (Said very slowly!) "Do you want your own QNH or Weston's QNH!! "

R22 "Eh eh my own one please"

EIWT TWR "Okay EI-XXX well I cant help you with that but Weston's QNH is 10XX!"

I don't think the pilot got it at all but I'd say the instructor beside him had a good laugh!

Regards,
Mark


that is just plain mean, poor student, lol, but eh funny too :lol:
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Post by Dutch Roll » Wed Aug 24, 2005 12:54 pm

another good one was the hesitation of a new controller at cork about 2 or more years ago when a shamrock A321 wanted to land on runway 25 in very bad weather with very strong westerly winds,she said "eh sorry i cant accept your category of aircraft, are you sure" the shamrock pilot replied "2 secs i'l check the charts", the pilots figures added up and replied "25 is fine", i can imagine the controller as the 321 woz on approach!!!
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Post by Dutch Roll » Tue Sep 06, 2005 9:57 am

heres some classics:

CTL : "Cessna 123, do you have 'Hotel' Information ?"
Cessna : "No, thanks, Tower, we're staying with friends."


ATC : "Cessna G-ABCD What are your intentions? "
Cessna : "To get my Commercial Pilots Licence and Instrument Rating."
ATC : "I meant in the next five minutes, not years..."


"Leave five on the glide, have a nice ride, tower inside, twenty-six nine .... see ya!"
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True Story

Post by hum » Sun Oct 02, 2005 8:08 am

While I was at basic training in the RAF there were some Indian Students going through at the same time. Their English and R/T was excellent, but they had a distinctive accent which sometmes led to misunderstandings.,...

Indian Student callsign Cranwell 14 airborne in a Jet Provost has problems getting the gear down, goes through the emergency procedures and has no success so calls up the Duty Instructor in the Tower for advice.....

"Aah Cranwell 14 this is the Duty Instructor, confirm you have gone through the emergency drills"

" eh affirmative sir, cranwell 14, I have completed all the procedures"

"...OK Cranwell 14, standby........have you tried applying negative 'G' during the down selection"

" Affirmative sir, I have tried that also, the gear is still indicating up"

" All right Cranwell 14, standby........ " long pause " Aah... Cranwell 14...what is your endurance?"


" eh.......say again for Cranwell 14"

" Cranwell 14 Duty Instructor here , I say again, what is your endurance"

"eh..............Cranwell 14 I am not understanding the question, please repeat"

"WHAT ... IS ..... YOUR ........ ENDURANCE??"


long pause.......


"eh...... Sun Life of Canada!"

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