Lol @ E-EL!!!
I found a tonne more on jokesdigest.com;
You're driving along in your car and you look for emergency landing spots.
You get in your car, put the key in the ignitions, and reach for the
You drive off a cliff, and your last words are, "Gear up!"
You pull back when you reach 60 mph.
You start up a steep hill and pull back on the wheel.
The weather sucks, so you stay inside poring over sectionals and
occasionally telling your SO: "Hey, you know where we should go?"
You turn on the "pitot heat" in cold, damp weather only to find you've just
pulled the knob off your car radio.
You are shocked back to reality when your car doesn't turn left as you
depress the clutch pedal.
It scares you when your "airspeed" indicator says "75" and you're still on
You swerve into the oncoming lane to keep from hitting your "wingtip" on a light pole.
You find yourself "maintaining the centerline" as you drive down a country
road where the two lanes are separated by a single yellow line.
One of your non-flying friends says, "Can't you say just one complete
sentence that does not have to do with flying?" (And you can't.)
When you start driving with the car centered on the solid yellow lines.
Every time you see a bird in the corner of the windscreen you check for
possible conflict of flight paths.
You hit the brake in your car when you turn left and accelerate when you
When you get into the passenger seat and wonder what's missing.
You know you're a pilot when you sit in the passenger seat and look at the sky. Especially if you see a news chopper and call out "Traffic, 2 o'clock high, helo." You know a pilot is driving if (s)he looks for it.
Someone pulls right out in front of you in traffic and your first instinct
is to pull back on the the wheel!
You yell "Clear" before starting your car.
You turn your car 45 degrees to the stop sign and "clear the approach"
before proceeding into the intersection.
To slow down, you find you've pulled the cigarette lighter out.
As you get within 5 miles of your destination you want to call for clearance into the "airspace."
Instead of asking your wife for a "quickie", you ask for a "hop around the
While in the car, you turn the Radio Station to figure out where you are.
You only connected to cable so you can get "The Weather Channel", and are a little aggravated that you have to pay extra for all those channels you don't ever watch.
At least 1/3 of the bookmarked web sites on your computer are weather
You're on a "first name" basis with the folks at the FSS.
You carry a "leatherman" in your purse in case you have to loosen a
"to-tight" dipstick during preflight. (most applicable to female pilots)
Your secretary has to call you by your tail number to get your attention.
You answer the phone "N1234Z, go ahead."
You ask for "crew quarters" when you check into a hotel.
You carry your sectionals with you when you travel commercial.
You can't leave the TV on during sex because anything televised with an
airplane flying in it will interrupt your concentration.
You step on the gas peddle when making right turns, trying to make the turn coordinated.
When accelerating, step on the gas even more to counter the left yaw
Make sure the radio is off when starting the engine.
Ask the heavier passenger to sit in the front seat of your car to ensure
You try to pull on the steering wheel as you accelerate from a stop sign.
Free the gear at the stop sign and maintain the gas pedal at 1200rpm to
prevent the spark plugs from fouling.
Wonder why there are no 'max cruise', 'econ cruise' and 'normal cruise'
speeds published in the manual.
Step on the clutch and gas pedal simultaneously in order to slow the craft
Test your foot brakes before you set off and expect your front passenger to do likewise.
Tell others never to drive below 50 on the speedometer.
Your pals ask for a spin and you tell them that your car is not designed to
Drive 500ft behind a trailer for fear of its wake turbulence.
Knock into another vehicle and yet continue driving cos' that is driver's
No. 1 priority.
You tell all your passengers to disembark your car when refueling at the gas station.
How about when you're driving down the road and your family calls traffic
alerts every time they see another plane? And adds "traffic no factor" when appropriate.
Your other friends don't call when the weekend weather forecast is good.
If you fall asleep at parties your friends put a buzzing alarm clock in your
ear to watch you jump as you have a nightmare about the stall warning going off.
You have your car window lever re-mounted on the inside roof of the car,
just to the right of your head. (What an awesome idea!!!!!)
Your have named your children Orville, Wilbur, and Chuck, and the cat's name is Biggles.
The driveway to your house has lights down the side and a thresh-hold
painted at the end.
You start filling your car tires with nitrogen.
When you start treating lane markers as centerlines.
You keep a photo of your plane in your wallet
You listen to your scanner in the car, and never use the radio
My favourite one ever
* You know you're a Cherokee pilot when you apply the parking brake while turning into your driveway