You know you're a pilot when...

Aviation Humour....

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alphaLaura
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You know you're a pilot when...

Post by alphaLaura »

- You wear a headset all day long just because it feels more comfortable

- You enjoy turbulence, especially in large commercial jets...

- You can tell what type of aircraft is flying overhead just by listening to the engine noise

- You install an altimeter and DI in your car

[feel free to post more - I'm sure there are tonnes out there!]
The hardest thing about flying is knowing when to say no.
I OWN THE SUN

FLYbyWIT
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Post by FLYbyWIT »

* You yell critism at some tv/movie where there is inacuricies in the aircraft details: i.e 747 takes off and they show a 737 landing.idiots!

*You own at least some form of aviation clothing bomber jacket / shirt / jumper / shades /watch and yet you laugh at others who do the same.

*As a passenger on a jet you criticise the landing to those sitting beside you wheter you know them or not.

*No matter how overcast it is when you hear an aircraft you still look up and yes I can tell the difference btween a CFM56 and a Rolls.

*You make it a point to say your not drinking to much to night to your friends as your probably flying the next day,YET you be the one doing the backstroke on the path outside the club-I did on friday anyways! :roll:

*You have had to slam your brakes on more then once when passing an airport to cop a glimpse of that shiney 747 and risk rear ending some muppet in front of you who probably tuning his/her scanner.

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Post by alphaLaura »

*You have had to slam your brakes on more then once when passing an airport to cop a glimpse of that shiney 747 and risk rear ending some muppet in front of you who probably tuning his/her scanner.

I am so completely and utterly guilty of that one - my driving skills decrease tenfold when I see an aircraft, and infinitely when I pass an airport :oops:
The hardest thing about flying is knowing when to say no.
I OWN THE SUN

historical-avi-irl.i8.com
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Post by historical-avi-irl.i8.com »

It's much worse when your on the rugby pitch, and they score a try!

I also got in trouble one day for standing up in Maths class, walking over to the window with my friend and saying- "Yep that's a Cessna 172 from the Air Corps again- I told you we were on a direct flight path from Baldonnel!" - No Joking- That Got Me In Big Trouble- But Everybody Else Was Shouting Their Heads Off Anyway!
:lol: :twisted: :?

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Post by EIDEL »

:roll:" No Dad I am not wearing a new pair of amber earrings , I'M NOT a genderbender ":D :D High altitude WAX=new wave candles :D :D

historical-avi-irl.i8.com
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Post by historical-avi-irl.i8.com »

EI-DEL: Where did that one come from? :lol:

EIDEL
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Post by EIDEL »

:evil: dunno man it gets me that way sometimes>>>>re-entry :oops:

alphaLaura
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Post by alphaLaura »

Lol @ E-EL!!!

I found a tonne more on jokesdigest.com;

You're driving along in your car and you look for emergency landing spots.

You get in your car, put the key in the ignitions, and reach for the
checklist.

You drive off a cliff, and your last words are, "Gear up!"

You pull back when you reach 60 mph.

You start up a steep hill and pull back on the wheel.

The weather sucks, so you stay inside poring over sectionals and
occasionally telling your SO: "Hey, you know where we should go?"

You turn on the "pitot heat" in cold, damp weather only to find you've just
pulled the knob off your car radio.

You are shocked back to reality when your car doesn't turn left as you
depress the clutch pedal.

It scares you when your "airspeed" indicator says "75" and you're still on
the ground.

You swerve into the oncoming lane to keep from hitting your "wingtip" on a light pole.

You find yourself "maintaining the centerline" as you drive down a country
road where the two lanes are separated by a single yellow line.

One of your non-flying friends says, "Can't you say just one complete
sentence that does not have to do with flying?" (And you can't.)
(*guilty*)

When you start driving with the car centered on the solid yellow lines.

Every time you see a bird in the corner of the windscreen you check for
possible conflict of flight paths.

You hit the brake in your car when you turn left and accelerate when you
turn right.

When you get into the passenger seat and wonder what's missing.

You know you're a pilot when you sit in the passenger seat and look at the sky. Especially if you see a news chopper and call out "Traffic, 2 o'clock high, helo." You know a pilot is driving if (s)he looks for it.

Someone pulls right out in front of you in traffic and your first instinct
is to pull back on the the wheel!

You yell "Clear" before starting your car.

You turn your car 45 degrees to the stop sign and "clear the approach"
before proceeding into the intersection.

To slow down, you find you've pulled the cigarette lighter out.

As you get within 5 miles of your destination you want to call for clearance into the "airspace."

Instead of asking your wife for a "quickie", you ask for a "hop around the
patch."

While in the car, you turn the Radio Station to figure out where you are.

You only connected to cable so you can get "The Weather Channel", and are a little aggravated that you have to pay extra for all those channels you don't ever watch.

At least 1/3 of the bookmarked web sites on your computer are weather
related.

You're on a "first name" basis with the folks at the FSS.

You carry a "leatherman" in your purse in case you have to loosen a
"to-tight" dipstick during preflight. (most applicable to female pilots)

Your secretary has to call you by your tail number to get your attention.

You answer the phone "N1234Z, go ahead."

You ask for "crew quarters" when you check into a hotel.

You carry your sectionals with you when you travel commercial.

You can't leave the TV on during sex because anything televised with an
airplane flying in it will interrupt your concentration.

You step on the gas peddle when making right turns, trying to make the turn coordinated.

When accelerating, step on the gas even more to counter the left yaw
tendency.

Make sure the radio is off when starting the engine.

Ask the heavier passenger to sit in the front seat of your car to ensure
proper CG.

You try to pull on the steering wheel as you accelerate from a stop sign.

Free the gear at the stop sign and maintain the gas pedal at 1200rpm to
prevent the spark plugs from fouling.

Wonder why there are no 'max cruise', 'econ cruise' and 'normal cruise'
speeds published in the manual.

Step on the clutch and gas pedal simultaneously in order to slow the craft
down.

Test your foot brakes before you set off and expect your front passenger to do likewise.

Tell others never to drive below 50 on the speedometer.

Your pals ask for a spin and you tell them that your car is not designed to
do so.

Drive 500ft behind a trailer for fear of its wake turbulence.

Knock into another vehicle and yet continue driving cos' that is driver's
No. 1 priority.

You tell all your passengers to disembark your car when refueling at the gas station.

How about when you're driving down the road and your family calls traffic
alerts every time they see another plane? And adds "traffic no factor" when appropriate.

Your other friends don't call when the weekend weather forecast is good.

If you fall asleep at parties your friends put a buzzing alarm clock in your
ear to watch you jump as you have a nightmare about the stall warning going off.

You have your car window lever re-mounted on the inside roof of the car,
just to the right of your head. (What an awesome idea!!!!!)

Your have named your children Orville, Wilbur, and Chuck, and the cat's name is Biggles.

The driveway to your house has lights down the side and a thresh-hold
painted at the end.

You start filling your car tires with nitrogen.

When you start treating lane markers as centerlines.

You keep a photo of your plane in your wallet

You listen to your scanner in the car, and never use the radio

My favourite one ever:
* You know you're a Cherokee pilot when you apply the parking brake while turning into your driveway

:lol:
The hardest thing about flying is knowing when to say no.
I OWN THE SUN

historical-avi-irl.i8.com
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Post by historical-avi-irl.i8.com »

I can relate to so many of those things, except, I'm ussually in the passangers seat in cars so when I going around a turn, I lean into the turn, look across at the dashboard to check the speed and (non-existant turn co-ordinator) and try to push my feet down on what I believe are pedals (nothing happens- controls must be broken- the yoke is missing anyway)!

Heres another real one- trust me- it's true:

+Everytime you see a helecopter overhead (within 1000ft) you wave your arms; while in a clear patch of land, and prepare for an emergency- just incase! :lol:

Good Job On The Research!

alphaLaura
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Post by alphaLaura »

Actually now that mention it, I 'scan' the dashboard panel -alot- more. I always, always check the engine temperature to see if it reaches 90 in good time, and stays there.

Lol love your copter one!!
The hardest thing about flying is knowing when to say no.
I OWN THE SUN

EIDEL
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Post by EIDEL »

:D Not engageing the clutch until the engine temp is off the floor :lol:

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